14 Days to Freedom: Day 6

Day 6:                                                                                                                                                                                

Sigh.   I’m hungry!   AND sleepy!  I wake up with my usual energy, but by 3pm, I’m spent.  The only thing that changed from my routine was my decision to begin thinking about my vacation coming to a close and I felt quite a rush of sadness and physical weakness come over me.  The idea of leaving the peaceful haven of my home and taking this cleansing process outside of my sacred walls saddens me.  This is such a personal process and I’d hate to be among others while doing it.  I fear perhaps, I won’t hear the Divine as clearly, but that notion is quickly reversed by a clear message that the Divine will see me through this process and doing this outside of my home allows me to be an example to others as my Light shines more brightly during this time.  I’m relieved, though still, I felt exhausted, and I needed to rest.  So, I took a midday nap, and woke up in time to make dinner for the littles.  I felt much better after the nap and resumed my thoughts of gratitude and Love, and engaged in my writing.  Something I noticed when I was feeling sad earlier was my immediate reflex to reach for food when I felt sad.  That was a definite eye-opener.  Yes, I was hungry, but I clearly see, that the “hunger” was emotionally-motivated because after my talk with God (and that much-needed nap), the hunger was gone.  I wondered, "How many times have I reached for food to resolve an emotional issue?"  I couldn’t answer that question, but my guess is more than many.  I’m more conscious now, and I intend to resolve my emotional challenges by going immediately to God rather than the pantry.  I may even put a note reflecting this epiphany on my fridge and pantry doors.

"Look upward and inward to solve your problems.  The solution is NOT in here!"

I’ve noticed a few pimples debuting on my cheeks and chin.  The cellulite cycle is continuing, though ironically, I am noticing more definition in my face, shoulders, arms and legs and my tummy is less and less jiggly by the second.  I can only imagine what I’ll look like in 8 days.  I’m feeling more and more grateful for all that is going well in my life, but I’m simultaneously feeling an urging---no, that’s too subtle of a term; it’s more like an alarmingly aggressive shove---to fulfill my life’s purpose.  I’m asking how and waiting patiently for answers from the Divine.  I know the answers will come.  I’m happy.  I’m hungry again, but hunger never felt so good.  Each time I feel a hunger pang, I pray, sip some tea, water or broth and breathe deeply.  I feel peaceful.  I’ve planned out all that I intend to eat for the next month or more after the fast ends next week.  I’m much more conscious of what I intend to ingest.  I feel an obligation to maintain this free and clear feeling that I have and I know that pizza, cakes and cookies aren’t going to bring this sensation on.  Although such treats are quite tasty (and they bring me loads of joy—albeit temporary), this feeling is surreal and I am loving it!!!  I feel a sense of clarity and connectedness with the Divine that I have not felt in a very long time.  I can’t express in words the degree to which I am grateful for this feeling, so I am electing to express my gratitude through my work, my service.  This brings me far greater joy.   This is pretty awesome!